|A new trust|
My name is Ekaterina and my connection with God has been a lifelong battle. Attending a Catholic primary school and going to church twice a week as a little girl was a weekly routine for me. As I grew older, things changed for me as I experienced different kinds of sufferings, heartaches and pain and started blaming God for everything that was happening and the most common questions I use to ask myself was "Why me?" "What have I done to deserve this?" I developed depression, anxiety. Medication and therapy was only a short term release for me and the battle went on for about 8 years.
At the start of 2011, I got offered a new job and was very reluctant to accept. Little did I know, that was the start of a new beginning for me and my relationship with God. At my new work place, I met a girl called Jessica and she took me under her wings. Trust was a big issue for me but trusting her was so easy. When I was down, sad, miserable, she picked me right back up. I told her things that I'd never told anyone in my life. I believe this was possible for me because of her strong faith in God. She showed me how God helped her in her life and how she trusted in Him to make her life better and I longed for that. I was open to whatever she had to say and I took it all in. When I started to slowly trust in God again, I found myself being less depressed and had the basic tools to get myself through the day.
The moment I knew I wanted to get baptised was amazing. I had thought about it for a little while but wanted to do it right and for the right reasons. I was lying in bed one night and something came over me. I felt like I had let something go. A release and at that moment, I knew that the right moment had come. God spoke to me and I was ready. I was ready to venture deep into my faith as I did not want to just brush over the surface. I felt so at peace and so content like I was floating in the clouds.
On 25th March, 2012, I was baptised by Father Emanuel Adami.
Now, I don't know how to live my days without God, without praying, without talking to Him. He is my saviour. He has rescued me. All I need is my faith and my trust in the Lord and He will conquer all for me. I've learnt that suffering is also a blessing as we fall off the right path and need lessons in life and God shows that to us. This was something that I could not accept in the past but now I finally can. There is no such thing as coincidence. Things happen for a reason and if we have complete trust and faith in God, we can accept anything. This is easier said than done and sometimes very hard to do but God can help us if we ask and pray to Him and are open to His great love. He is the centre of my life and I live for Him. I live for my God, my Lord, my Father and I will lay my life down for him.
"The Lord is my strength and my shield. My heart has trusted in Him and I am helped. He is not only with me but in me and I in Him" – St. Francis de Sales